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Sep. 11th, 2006

um. hi. I'm Cat and I'm new to this community ... and this fandom, actually. I've also never really written a fanfic before. Man, I'm just brand new all over. Anyway, I have my first attempt at M/R as well as my first attempt at NC-17. Hope you like it. It's unbeta'd, but it's been spell-checked within an inch of it's life. Obviously any suggestion would be great.

Title: Beautiful
Rating: NC17
Pairing: Mark/Roger
Summary: Roger shows Mark how he sees him.
Warning: Um. Kind of kinky? But not really.
Disclaimer: I do not own Roger, Mark or Rent. Though, it'd be nice, wouldn't it?

Roger thought Mark was beautiful. Mark thought Roger was wrong.

“Beautiful. You’re so fucking beautiful.”
Roger always said it in that same sincere, awestruck voice, usually right around the time that he had Mark spread out beneath him flushed and moaning. Sometimes though, he would say it quietly when they were just lying in bed, lifting his head from the crook of Mark’s neck to look him the eyes as he whispered it quietly, almost reverently. Mark would flush even more and shake his head, not meeting Roger’s eyes. Roger would just shake his head and bury his face in the crook of Mark’s neck. “If you could just see what I see.” Mark never had the courage to ask what it was that Roger thought was so beautiful.

“What are we doing back here? We never use this part of the loft.” Roger was gripping his wrist pulling him towards the back corner of the loft where they kept all the furniture that was so broken not even duct tape could fix it.
Roger continued to tug Mark towards the back of the loft, ignoring the other boy’s protests. He grinned and spun Mark around so that Roger was now pressed up behind him and Mark found himself face to face with … himself. There was a huge mirror propped up against the wall. “What the hell? What’s this?”
“Well” Roger said tightening his arms around Mark’s waist and kissing down his neck “it’s a very large mirror.”
“Thank you for clearing that up” Mark replied, the sarcasm of the comment cut short by the sharp gasp he gave as Roger bit down on his ear. “What is it doing here? And where the hell did you find it?” Mark could feel Roger shrug as he ran his hands down Mark’s chest and slowly slid them under the hem of his shirt, stroking the skin he found there. “I was looking through the boxes and I found it; I think it was Maureen’s.” Mark vaguely remembered it now – Maureen had been complaining incessantly that there were no mirrors in the loft, so one day when Mark and Roger were coming home from a long night they spotted the mirror- large and slightly cracked and tarnished around they edges. It was huge. They had jokingly brought it back for Maureen – but the joke had been on them. Maureen loved it. Sometimes Mark would catch her standing it in front of it practicing her pout. She must have left it when she went to Joanne’s.

But that still didn’t explain why Mark was standing in front of it with Roger pressed up behind him. Roger must have seen his confused expression in the mirror.
“I told you, I wanted you to see.” Roger whispered soft and low into Mark’s ear, making him shudder. Surely Roger couldn’t want – but he was already inching Mark’s shirt up and over his head. “I want you to see what I see.” He whispered again in that same low voice. Behind him he could see Roger pull off his own shirt before stepping close and pressing his bare chest against Mark’s back. “Just watch.”

It was surreal --watching Roger’s slightly darker hands smooth over his pale skin. He stood nearly mesmerized as Roger’s hands roamed over his chest and let out a low moan when Roger lightly scraped his fingernails over his nipples. In the mirror, Roger’s hands dipped lower, unbuttoning Mark’s pants and sliding them, along with his boxers down his legs. Mark’s eyes slid closed as Roger’s hands came back up to slide over his stomach. “No, no, no eyes open.” Mark reluctantly opened his eyes and looked to the mirror. He was startled at what he saw – Roger was running his hands over Mark’s body all the while watching him in the mirror. As he stroked Mark’s skin he began speaking low in his ear telling Mark all the things he thought were beautiful about him. “Such soft skin, if you were a girl I’d tell you it was porcelain” he teased softly, as he ran his hands down over Mark’s flat belly, leaving a trail of gooseflesh in their wake. “For years I wondered if you blushed on more than just your cheeks. Now I can see that you go pink all over.” He ran his fingers over Mark’s hipbones murmuring how much he loved to slide his tongue over them. When Roger moved his hands over the inside of his thighs Mark couldn’t hold back a whimper. “So strong from riding your bike around the city. I love how they feel wrapped around my waist as I thrust into you over and over.” He moved his hands back and squeezed Mark’s ass. “Such a tight little ass” he said unconsciously thrusting his still clothed erection into Mark. “Makes me want to bend you over a chair and make you mine.” Mark let out a loud groan thrusting his hips back into Roger’s looking for friction. Roger moved his hands to Mark’s erection – just lightly running his fingers over it. “Let me show you, let me show you how goddamned gorgeous you are when I fuck you.”
“Yes.” It came out as a groan as Roger tightened his fingers around Mark’s cock.
Roger grinned at Mark’s response. He hadn’t been sure the other boy would agree to his plan. Roger pulled the condoms and lube out of his pockets and placed them on a table by Mark. He slowly turned Mark to the side so that now he could see both his and Roger’s profiles in the mirror. This way they would get the best view. Mark leaned over and gripped the table watching in the mirror as Roger removed the rest of his own clothes. Because he was watching, he was able to see the look Roger gave as he turned to him – a mixture of adoration and pure unadulterated want. That look, just for him, sent a shiver down Mark’s spine. Roger ran his hands over Mark’s back before continuing past him to pick up the lube. Mark could see everything in the mirror: Roger squeezing it onto his fingers, then stroking Mark’s hip with one hand and teasing his entrance with the other. He could see Roger’s hand move before he felt it – one finger slowly sliding inside of him. He was already on edge and wasn’t sure he could take much more, and they’d barely even begun.

Roger added another finger and another and soon Mark was thrusting back against them, whimpering and moaning for more. Roger was leaning over him whispering darkly into this ear, and Mark could feel his erection hot and heavy pressing against his thigh. When Roger curled his fingers to hit that spot Mark nearly screamed, his eyes sliding shut. When Roger pulled his fingers out Mark’s eyes snapped back open, afraid that he was stopping, but Roger was just reaching for the condom. He watched as Roger rolled the condom on and then grasped his hips. He pushed slowly into Mark, leaning forward to rest his forehead between Mark’s shoulder blades. He could feel as well as see Roger’s cock slowly disappear as he entered Mark fully. He heard Roger groan “Oh God, yes. Mark” as he started to thrust into Mark with smooth strokes.

Occasionally Roger looked into the mirror to make sure Mark was watching but he needn’t have worried, Mark couldn’t have torn his eyes away even if he wanted to. Strangely he found that didn’t want to, he was in awe of the picture before him. He had expected Roger to look good, and he did. With the moonlight coming through the windows reflecting off his the muscles in his back and thighs as they moved with the rhythm of his thrusts, Roger looked like a god. He definitely didn’t look like he belonged in this rundown loft surrounded by decay. But Mark wasn’t surprised, that’s how Roger always looked to him, even when he was just sitting in the widow seat in his pajamas. What did surprise Mark was how he himself looked. He had expected to find his reflection skinny and pale, just like always. But what he saw was his skin practically glowing in the moonlight, glistening with sweat and the trails of saliva left by Roger’s open-mouthed kisses. He saw the muscles in his shoulders contract as he gripped the table for balance. His thigh muscles clenched as he thrust back into Roger, looking needy and thoroughly debauched. Was this what Roger saw? Did he always look like this to Roger, just like Roger was always gorgeous to him?

And then Mark’s thoughts stuttered to a halt as Roger’s hand slid around and grasped Mark’s erection tightly and started to stroke with the rhythm of his thrusts. Mark couldn’t keep quiet.
“Oh God Roger, yes. Please. So… soo fucking go-good.” Roger growled and thrust harder into Mark. He sped up the movement of his hips, one hand fisted around Mark’s cock, jerking him off. Mark could see everything in the mirror. Roger bit down on the place where Mark’s shoulder met his neck. He sank his teeth in and then softly lapped the red mark with his tongue. It was suddenly too much and Mark’s eyes slide shut as he came hard, spilling out over Roger’s hand. His eyes opened slowly when both of Roger’s hands gripped his hips hard enough that there would be bruises tomorrow. Roger’s hips snapped a few more times and then he was growling out Mark’s name as he came.

Mark’s legs finally gave out and he and Roger ended up on the floor, the only sound that could be heard was their harsh breathing. Roger places light kisses down Mark’s spine as he pulled out. He pulled Mark up and leaning against each other they made their way to the bedroom. Mark collapsed onto the bed, Roger joining him after he got rid of the condom. Roger lay on his back and pulled Mark close to him. He was a little worried that Mark still hadn’t said a word. Mark curled up to Roger burrowing his face into the crook of his neck. Roger ran a soothing hand through Mark’s hair. “Are you okay?” he asked his voice hoarse and cracked. He could feel Mark’s nod but the other boy still said nothing. “Sure? Are you freaked?” Roger felt Mark’s lips move against his neck when he mumbled “no” sounding drowsy and content “s’good.”
“Yeah?” asked Roger grinning. Mark nodded again. They lay quietly curled up with each other for a long time. Roger was just slipping off to sleep when Mark raised his head. “Thank you,” he whispered looking Roger in the eye, “thank you for showing me.” Roger just nodded, marveling at the new hint of contentment in Mark’s eyes. It was as though now that he knew how Roger saw him, he could rest knowing Roger wouldn’t be leaving. He buried his face in Roger’s shoulder again and a few moments he later he didn’t have to be looking at Roger to know he was smiling when he said, “I told you - so fucking gorgeous.” This time Mark just smiled back.


Death in a cuddly jumper
she never said

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