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hello again! So, since my last attempt at fic didn't get me laughed right off the face of the earth, I decided to try again. Remember, now, this is only like my third fic so, don't expect too much.

So, uh, tada?

Title: How it Happened
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Mark/Roger
Warning: none
Disclaimer: I do not own Mark, Roger or Rent. Though it's not from lack of trying.

He hadn’t expected it to happen like this.

On the rare occasion that he allowed himself to entertain the notion that it could possibly happen he never saw it happening like this. He came up with plenty of scenarios – it was what he was good at after all, setting the scene, crafting the dialogue, choreographing -- but never in all his scenarios did it ever happen like this.

Sometimes, one or the other of them got sick and in the midst of the vomiting or the bleeding the truth would come out. Most of the time it was him letting it slip and Roger would high-tail it out of there and everything would change and he would die alone. Mark was not one of the world’s natural optimists. But sometimes when he was particularly delusional he would imagine that Roger didn’t run, but after a lot of discussing and convincing and dredging up the past, he would actually come closer. And there would be more talking and pining and hesitation and they would finally kiss and hug and hold. But they were remarkably healthy, considering the way the lived. So, it didn’t happen that way.

Occasionally, late at night in the dark of Mark’s mind it would happen because Roger walked in on him jerking off. Roger’s name had slipped quietly off Mark’s lips and Roger, overcome by lust had pushed open the door. He shouldn’t have allowed himself the fantasy, but by then Mark was usually thrusting into his fist so he couldn’t be bothered with things like reality. Of course, outside of his fantasy’s Mark was never careless enough to actually say Roger’s name. Out loud, anyway. So, it didn’t happen that way.

Those were just tiny wishful thinking parts of Mark’s mind anyway. The majority of Mark -- Mark the realist who didn’t indulge in ridiculous fantasies -- never thought it would actually happen. Really, when had they ever discussed anything even remotely related to emotions? They weren’t really the ‘let’s talk about our feelings’ types. Unless they were pushed over the edge and Roger had his bag in his hand and Mark’s heart was threatening to shatter with every step towards the door. It was at this point that those wishful thinking sections of his mind would push their way to the front and he would imagine another argument and Roger once again walking towards the door. But this time instead of talking about how much Mimi loved him, Mark would tell Roger how much he loved him. And this time that would be enough to make Roger stay. But they didn’t fight and Roger never mentioned leaving. So it didn’t happen that way, either.

Mark had never in his wildest dreams expected it would be such an achingly simple thing. He hadn’t expected it would just be the two of them sitting on the couch sharing a comfortable silence – Mark bent over a book and Roger just sitting quietly, pad nearby should inspiration strike. He hadn’t expected that he would look up to find Roger staring at him, green eyes unwavering. He hadn’t expected that Roger would lean over and press his lips gently to Mark’s in a short chaste kiss. And then Roger pulled back and looked into Mark’s eyes, a question in his eyes. Mark’s lips quirked into a quick grin and he leaned back in. Roger’s shoulder’s hitched in what might have been a sigh of relief as they kissed, still gentle but less chaste this time. Mark hadn’t expected that it would be him running his tongue along Roger’s lower lip, seeking entrance. And then they were kissing, really kissing. Mark’s hands went to Roger’s hair, as Roger spread one hand out over the side of Mark’s face and neck while his other hand clenched in the fabric at Mark’s side.

And then the need for oxygen forced them to break the kiss, but Mark wasn’t ready to let go just yet. He placed small kisses and nips down Roger’s throat, earning a soft moan. He had expected that any romantic situation with Roger would mean April would be brought up or, at the very least, Mimi but the only name that passed Roger’s lips was Mark’s own, breathed out on a sigh.

There were no long discussions about what happened and where this was going. After all, what could be said that they both didn’t already know? Well, maybe one thing. And then Mark was leaning up to whisper into Roger’s ear and Roger arm’s tightened around him as he buried his face in the crook of Mark’s neck, whispering his own confession into the soft skin there.

And it did change things, but not as much as Mark would have expected. Mark and Roger as lovers wasn’t much different from Mark and Roger as best friends. They still joked and went out with their friends. Mark still nagged Roger about his AZT and Roger still had to convince Mark to put the camera down once in a while. There were more kisses and caresses and secret smiles, so some things had changed.
But that was to be expected.


Death in a cuddly jumper
she never said

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